


A Day In The Life

by elwon



Series: Exeunt'verse [6]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Exactly What It Says on the Tin, M/M, author's attempt at banter, blink and you'll miss it sex scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-21
Updated: 2017-04-21
Packaged: 2018-10-22 05:09:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10690368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elwon/pseuds/elwon
Summary: The last time you made tea youmicrowavedit. How can you grow up with Alfred andmicrowave your tea?





	A Day In The Life

Jason woke up with a start, slapping at the air and reaching for the knife he kept under his pillow. He blinked fuzzily, realising that there was no impending attack. He tapped off the alarm on his phone, and dragged himself from the bed to the kitchen, to make a cup of tea for breakfast. Jason idly scratched at his stubble and then giving his belly an itch under his t-shirt for good measure. He pulled out the carton of milk from the fridge and scowled at the empty cardboard. Dick had the most annoying habit of putting the empty carton back in the fridge instead of throwing it out, and he’d done it again. Jason went to send Dick a text complaining again, but saw the last text from Dick asking him to “Plz get milk on ur way hme lil wing <3”. Jason sighed and began to make a mental list for groceries. 

Jason drank his tea black, flipping through the cupboards and rechecking the fridge. He picked up his keys and wallet, rushing through the front door and making it to the street before remembering pants and shoes. He looked down at the sweat pants he slept in and his big fuzzy wonder woman slippers, shrugged, and kept going to the grocery store.

An hour later Jason bustled through the apartment door, arms laden with grocery bags and the much needed milk. After putting the groceries away, he reheated a breakfast burrito and collapsed on the couch, idly flicking the tv on and watching reruns of crime shows while he ate.  
He worked out for a while, starting with warm up stretches, focusing on the side of his torso that had most recently been injured. Sit-ups, pull-ups, squats and push-ups took up the best part of an hour; before he moved through his favourite katas and finishing off with a good half hour of pummelling the sandbag hanging up in the corner. 

He puttered around cleaning his guns, trying to distract himself from picking up Dick’s dirty clothes from the floor. Jason went through all the prep for his nightly patrol, decidedly not staring at the laundry, the scattered notes Dick had left from his cases, the random cd and dvd cases over the living room. The mess itched at the back of his mind, annoying him more and more as the day went on, but with herculean effort he managed to stop himself from tidying up after his hopelessly messy boyfriend.

At six pm Dick walked through the apartment door, toed his shoes off and collapsed face first into the couch, groaning loudly and pathetically. Jason looked over to him from his seat in the armchair and watched as Dick dramatically tried to get his attention. Dick continued to flail and whine as Jason said nothing. 

“Jaaaaay. Jaaaaaay. Jaaaaasoooon. I had the worst day. COME COMFORT ME, LITTLE WING.” Dick said, practicing his daytime soap acting with far too much enthusiasm for Jason’s tastes. 

“No. Suffer in silence as penance for not cleaning your shit up and never putting anything away.” Jason told him with glee, flipping the pages in the magazine that he wasn’t reading.

“Mmmf! OK, if I make you tea, will you cuddle me?” Dick asked plaintively, lifting his face from the couch cushions and smiling at Jason.

“No. The last time you made tea you _microwaved_ it. How can you grow up with Alfred and _microwave your tea_?” Jason told him with exasperation, “That’s a dealbreaker. I might have to break up with you.” 

“You’re breaking up with me over tea? You’re the worst. But that’s ok; I have a plan to get you back.” Dick grinned, crawling over to Jason and ripping the magazine out of his hands, throwing it across the room before climbing up into his lap.

“Is that plan sex-” Jason started to ask, amused.

“The plan is sex. I am going to blow your mind and make you agree to anything I want!” Dick interrupted, leaning in to nuzzle their noses together. He did that so often that Jason honestly wondered if Dick was maybe part cat.

“I am not doing your laundry, Dickie. You’re a grown man, you can do it yourself. But don’t let that stop you.” Jason said, resting his hands on Dick’s ass possessively.

“But I’ve run out of clean clothes! Do you want me to walk around the apartment naked?” Dick complained, “Wait, sorry, stupid question, of course you do.” Jason just smirked in response, squeezing down on Dick’s ass and enjoying the firm handfuls.

“As fun as that sounds, I think I’d rather eat then nap before patrol.” Jason says mournfully, giving Dick another squeeze.

“I can’t believe you’re turning down sex, I mean, I’m hungry and a nap sounds amazing, but sex!” Dick says, with fake annoyance, pouting exaggeratedly at Jason.

“It’s sad but true, Goldie,” Jason says, standing up and watching as Dick scrambled to get his footing, “I’m gonna heat up that Goulash that the Lesbian Grandmas gave us, you want some?”

“Ooh, Goulash! Yes, and please stop calling Ruth and Peggy the Lesbian Grandmas. They’re sisters.” Dick says as he follows Jason into the kitchen and watches as he reheats the goulash in the oven.

“They’re married, they told me that they’ve adopted me, and that is the only reason that they don’t look at us weird when you call me your brother in public _while_ you’re holding my hand!” Jason says with fond exasperation, “Everyone else in the building thinks you’re so deep in the closet you’re in Narnia. Which is why 2B keeps giving you her number.” 

“Wait, really? How did I not know they were married? She’s been giving me her number? And wait, really, why would she give me her number if she thinks I’m in the closet?” Dick asked, confusion colouring his voice as he got plates and cutlery out.

“I have no idea, I keep fishing them out of your pockets and throwing them in the trash, and I have no idea.” Jason replied, sitting down at the table and waiting for the timer to ping, “Tell me about your worst day then, I need entertainment during dinner.” 

“You’re lucky I love you, and therefore will humour you,” Dick said, giving Jason a flat look, “but since you asked I’m going tell you aaand you’re going to have to listen! I have been waiting for this moment all. my. life.”

“Wait, let me get ready,” Jason said leaning both elbows on the table, and rested his chin in his hands, grinning, “OK, go.”

“Here it is,” Dick said with undue solemnity, “I had to take my morning coffee black because you forgot the milk. I got a papercut doing filing. I didn’t get to pet the cute dog that came into work. They ran out of the sandwiches I wanted for lunch. Oh, and my boyfriend turned me down for sex.”

“The last one was the worst right?”Jason asked, choking back laughter as Dick made the saddest face he could without cracking up.

“No, it was the dog. It was so adorable. I nearly cried.” Dick managed to keep a straight face for about ten seconds before dissolving into giggles. Jason snorted and shook his head. He was in love with a giant dork and his life had never been better. 

“That’s terrible. Your day was terrible. My heart bleeds for you.” Jason said, as the oven timer went off, “I went grocery shopping and sat around watching daytime tv.” Jason grabbed the goulash from the oven, plating it up, sliding Dick’s bowl over to him and digging in to his own before he’d even sat back down.

“I take it back, your day was worse. So much worse. I’m so sorry. Come here and let me love you, little wing!” Dick threw his arms wide, practically sparkling like a cartoon character. Jason wondered if Dick was about to climb over the table and tackle him. He’d like to finish his dinner before he got smothered with love. 

“No, stay on your side of the table. Can a man not just eat his dinner in peace? What is the world coming to?” Jason said exasperated, “Also eat your dinner that my Lesbian Grandmas put so much effort into, you ungrateful thing, you.” 

“Rude. I’m only eating this because I’m hungry and it’s delicious, and I love Peggy and Ruth. So there.” Dick said, sticking his nose up in the air in the most ridiculous manner, “God, this is really good goulash. God bless your Lesbian Grandmas.”

The next fifteen minutes are filled with the sound of cutlery clinking against crockery and satisfied sighs as they stuff their faces. After the dirty plates make their way to the sink to soak, Dick grabs Jason by the wrist and pulls him to the couch. Dick takes naptime incredibly seriously. He has a special blanket and a preferred pillow. Jason doesn’t think the pillow counts when _he’s_ the pillow, but he’ll admit the blanket is pretty nice, all fluffy and warm. They cuddle up in their usual position; Jason on his back, Dick tucked into his side and on top of him, arms wrapped around each other, drifting off easily after setting an alarm.

*** 

The beeping rouses them both out of sleep at nine thirty pm, and they change into their uniforms ready for patrol. Dick heads off to the Cave to patrol with Damian, and Jason heads off into the city to meet an informant. The informant turns out to be a bust, a waste of thirty minutes he could have spent shooting rapists in the crotch. 

He jumps over rooftops all along the warehouse district aiming for a known drug ring working out of a warehouse on the docks who are expecting a large shipment tonight. Jason sets a few light explosives around the warehouse, more flash and bang than actual destructive power. He climbs up to the roof, waiting for the drug pushers to arrive. Forty minutes later and the drug dealers are all on the floor, bleeding out from shot out kneecaps and crying as the police arrive to arrest them. 

Jason heads over to the Strolls, checking in with the same prostitutes he usually checks in with. They give him some intel on a couple of shady johns, and tell him which of the pimps have been stepping out of line since last week. He takes his time threatening them, really making sure to put the fear of the Red hood into them. By then it’s after midnight, and Jason stops at his favourite hotdog stall for a much needed snack. Chillidogs eaten and despite what Drake might say, feeding Jason after twelve am does not turn him into a gremlin. It turns him into a well fed Red Hood, fuck you very much.

He meets up with Nightwing and Robin over in the nightclub district, joining them for an intel gathering mission on a trafficking case that Dick has been tracking for several weeks. They sit and watch mid-level gangsters play poker and drink for a good hundred minutes, making up terrible dialogue for them until Damian facepalms at the both of them in pre-teen despair. Which if Jason is honest, makes the entire conversation worthwhile. Damian has some truly epic facial expressions to Dick’s deeply painfully bad romantic movie dialogue. 

Robin gets recalled to the Manor sometime around three am, just as the skies open and heavy rain starts pouring down, soaking everything around them. By mutual agreement they head home, slipping and sliding across the rooftops, Dick jumping into puddles like a little kid and shaking out the water from his hair with glee. Jason watches him with a fond smile, hidden by his helmet, right up to the point that Dick grabs his wrist and drags him over to jump in the puddles with him. Jason’ll never admit it, but damn, jumping in puddles is fun.

It takes far longer than it should to get home, jumping into every other puddle of water and tussling on fire escapes lengthening a thirty minute journey to nearly twice that. They arrive tired and laughing; fighting with their wet uniforms and tripping over their own boots as they strip down before getting into the shower. 

They soap each other up, Dick giggling as Jason tickles his sides mercilessly. Dick pushes up onto his toes to steal a kiss, and Jason indulges him by picking him up and pressing his against the shower wall. They rock against each other, soap suds and water coursing down their bodies. They grind slowly and quietly, too tired for anything fancy or energetic. Dick comes first, sighing and dropping his head to rest on Jason’s strong shoulders as the showers washes everything down the drain. Jason follows soon after, gripping Dick’s hips hard enough to bruise as he grunts and leans hard on Dick pressing him to the wet tile.

They dry off quickly, pulling on t-shirts and boxers with bleary eyes before crawling into bed. Dick sets his alarm ready for later on that morning and his day job. Jason glares at the alarm clock on principle. No one going to bed so early/late should be getting up at that hour. Dick kisses Jason on the cheek, murmuring an ‘I love you’ and pulling one of his arms around him as he lies down. Dick’s asleep before his head hits the pillow, the actual pillow this time. Jason softly snorts as Dick clings to him in his sleep. He noses softly at the still damp hairs on the back of Dick’s neck, inhaling the scent of his shampoo, letting the comfort of his bed and lover lull him to a restful sleep.


End file.
